News:

Be sure to tell your friends about NinSheetMusic!

Main Menu

NSM Winter Update Project Thread

Started by Libera, December 12, 2018, 03:25:40 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on December 14, 2018, 02:58:33 AMSnow Bowling Minigame

That was tough to check.

Only thing I have to say here is that final chord looks kinda tricky to play.  Maybe you could leave out the C since it's in the right hand anyway and that would leave the hand in a better position to play the top E.
hehe

I feel like the C is important here though (it's two octaves below the RH one) and this chord is fairly easy to roll, so I'd like to keep it. (Also the same figure is used at the end of this)
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

#16
Quote from: Latios212 on December 14, 2018, 04:39:08 PMhehe

I feel like the C is important here though (it's two octaves below the RH one) and this chord is fairly easy to roll, so I'd like to keep it. (Also the same figure is used at the end of this)

Fair.

Edit: Latios reminded to post approvals so here we are.

Latios

Snow Bowling Minigame: Approved!

Yug Guy

Stage Theme: Approved!
Title Screen / Bonus Stage: Approved!

Latios212

Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on December 13, 2018, 09:51:57 PM"Gelato Beach" - Super Mario Sunshine
[MUSX]


Here's my submission

S'winter time, muahaha
ay mate

I like this one; however there are two major things I'd like to bring up right now:
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]
- I think the rhythms involving the dotted 16ths would be better written as triplets. I'm not 100% sure what the rhythm is here, but it seems to be somewhat loose so I'd err on the side of writing it like this.
- You may want to consider rewriting those single note tremolos as tremolos between two notes either a sixth or an octave apart. This will allow you to play notes more rapidly and comfortably. That said, I played around with it on piano with pedal and the slowish tempo lets you get away with hammering away at one note if you really want to.

Other things:
- I don't think the key changes are necessary on the second page. It modulates a bit but doesn't stray terribly far from C.
- Some accidentals are a bit off:
  - m. 16 Db>C# (A chord)
  - m. 26 Db>C# (chromatic ascent)
  - m. 31 (LH) Gb>F# (neighboring chromatic)
- I'd suggest making the bass pattern of 23-30 to match the rhythm of the original a bit better, even though you can't get the pitch bends.
- Separate layers in m. 34.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

Quote from: Static on December 12, 2018, 08:19:39 PMSeiken Densetsu 3 - Another Winter
  • Watch the G/A collision in m. 12. I would strongly recommend using 3 measures per system when you have the continuous 16th notes, as the cross-staff beams are quite short since this section is quite cramped.
  • The middle layer in m. 13-14 doesn't match the original. Did you shift some notes around to fit with the melody?

also please include your octopath sheets
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

E. Gadd Industries

Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on December 13, 2018, 09:51:57 PM"Gelato Beach" - Super Mario Sunshine
[MUSX]
It should be updated now, although my version of Finale may be causing weird formatting things to happen. Things for the feedback!
"Everyone is crazy but me"
-The Sign Painter


The entrance to my lab is hidden... somewhere...
Spoiler

[/spoiler
[close]

Khunjund

Just wanted so say I've modified my submission to have the name match the official English track name, which apparently is just "Buried in Snow".
Please stop making lists using hyphens.

Trasdegi

Quote from: Latios212 on December 14, 2018, 04:30:02 PMLooks good, fixed up a couple of things aside from formatting:
- Respelling Gx as An
- These notes were incorrect before - there's an echo on all of these notes but the pitch you entered before was incorrect and not part of the melody. Barring echoes each of those figures should have a quarter note here.
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]

I fixed up the file in Dropbox, let me know if there are any issues.

Thanks for checking it! I agree with these changes.

Latios212

Quote from: Trasdegi on December 15, 2018, 09:00:51 AMThanks for checking it! I agree with these changes.
Awesome, no problem! Approved.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

LeviR.star

Quote from: Libera on December 14, 2018, 02:58:33 AM-Maybe someone else knows better, but is your notation for straight eighths standard?  I don't think many pieces have this effect going on so there might not really be a nice accepted notation.
-I understand why you went with Fns in bars 2 and 4 but I think since they're not really harmonic I'd just write them as Ens for clarity.
-With the ascending line in the final bar I'd write the last Ab as a G# just to keep the pattern the same in every triplet (up down up, up down up etc.)
-With some of those fast triplet sections, I'd consider cutting back on some of the repeated harmony notes just because I think it won't affect the sound really at all but it'll be way easier to play.  For example (for bar 11):
Spoiler
You cannot view this attachment.
[close]
Let me know what you think.
-Courtesy accidentals are something that this piece would benefit from a lot since there's a lot to keep track of.  Things like Ens in the bass in bars 2, 4 etc since we have Ebs and Ens in the right hand, Gn in the left hand in bar 16 since we've got a Gb striking at the same time in the right hand.  You could add in more if you want to be really explicit, but that's up to you.

- I've seen tempo markings like "Straight Eighths" or "♩=♩", but since it was changing so frequently in this song, I went and created a simple new notation, and I thought I'd leave it up to you guys for now
- Accidentals fixed
- Good idea. I also went ahead and altered m. 17; check to see if that fits your liking
- I've never really believed in courtesy accidentals (I grew up reading music w/out them) but I fixed the spots you suggested. Any others I am open to changing as well
- Thanks for checking my sheet, Libera. Sorry the video was so hard to find; that usually isn't a problem with my sheets

Quote from: Deku Trombonist on December 14, 2018, 04:29:37 AM- You're using a template that already has the staff size set at the happy ideal of 0.65cm so you there's no need to use the resize tool. (Actually, I don't think the resize tool should ever be used, except maybe for ossias. But I'm sure Ben would have a way of getting around that).
- I re-spaced everything so it's more aesthetically pleasing and makes better use of the two pages it was already taking up.
- You don't need the parenthesis in bar 26 in the LH because the is no clash with the RH (both are 8va).
- Bar 21 has a small rhythm grouping error that I fixed. I'm guessing you just skipped over it because bar 17 was grouped spot on.
- I really don't think the double bar lines belong here. The idea behind them is that they are used in conjunction with a significant change of time signature or key signature or to indicate the start of a new section. Here it seems like they were being used to indicate the start of a new phrase, which isn't what they're meant for. If you do want to indicate phrase lengths, phrase markings are a much more effective way of communicating this.
- I've always thought that it looks better to have the speed indication after the character indication in the tempo marking.
- I threw in some clef changes from 16 onward. I just thought that it was hanging around in the shark bait long enough to warrant it. Feel free to change them if you want.

- Ooh, that looks miles better. Thanks so much for fixing that, Deku!'
- Yeah, that part confused me a little -- don't know why I forgot to fix it
- Most likely. Thank you for pointing that error out
- I've gotten used to using them for that in the past year, but I can stop. Thank you; I never knew that's not what they were for
- Well, while I still used special tempo markings that's how I always wrote them, but I can make an exception here. (Mainly just a preference, but I left it there w/ your edit)
- I was having troubles with the clef changes while the page size was so small, but with the systems spaced out it looks a lot better and works well
- Thank you for everything, Deku, this really helps a lot

Files in my folder have been updated w/ the edits.
Check out my Youtube channel for remixes and original music! LeviR.star's Remixes

Also check out my piano arrangements here on my PA thread! LeviR.star's Arrangements

Libera

Quote from: LeviR.star on December 15, 2018, 09:53:26 AM- I've seen tempo markings like "Straight Eighths" or "♩=♩", but since it was changing so frequently in this song, I went and created a simple new notation, and I thought I'd leave it up to you guys for now

It seems reasonable to me, just was wondering if anyone knew a more standard one (but I suspect that it doesn't exist).

Quote from: LeviR.star on December 15, 2018, 09:53:26 AM- Good idea. I also went ahead and altered m. 17; check to see if that fits your liking

Yee.

Quote from: LeviR.star on December 15, 2018, 09:53:26 AM- I've never really believed in courtesy accidentals (I grew up reading music w/out them) but I fixed the spots you suggested. Any others I am open to changing as well

I dislike them as well, but these are places where it can actually be ambiguous without clarification so I usually put those ones in.  I thought I was the only person who disliked them here so that's nice. :P
For consistency I'd add in the En in the right hand as well in bars 2 and 4 and the Gn in the left hand of bar 8 like in bar 16.  Also the An in the final bar of the left hand (since you've got Abs and Ans in the right hand there.)  But yeah I'm totally fine with leaving out ones like the Fn in bar 12.  Basically my feeling is if there's an alteration in one octave but a different alteration in the same bar but at a different octave or staff, it should probably have a courtesy accidental.

Quote from: LeviR.star on December 15, 2018, 09:53:26 AM- Thanks for checking my sheet, Libera. Sorry the video was so hard to find; that usually isn't a problem with my sheets

No problem, and no worries on the video.

Latios212

Quote from: E. Gadd Industries on December 14, 2018, 08:27:56 PMIt should be updated now, although my version of Finale may be causing weird formatting things to happen. Things for the feedback!
No problem!

Nice work, much improved. I poked around with the layout and fixed the stuff that your Finale broke, namely some weird looking tremolos and slurs. I also added a courtesy F natural in m. 32 RH (coming down from the F#) and an upper layer B at the end of m. 34, but that's about it.

I uploaded the edits to the folder. I'm done with it now, aside from one last concern... I'm not quite sure what to do about this visually, arrangement wise it's fine but I don't know how to make this look better. :/

You cannot view this attachment.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Latios212

Quote from: Libera on December 12, 2018, 05:38:07 PMThe Immortal Country:
Yay, more Bravely Default!
- m. 19 - would suggest putting a chord on beat 2 like the original instead of just the E
- m. 36 - Move the eighth rest up and mp down, as layer 1 doesn't exist there to push them aside. Same thing with the quarter rest in m. 50 and probably flipping the dyad too.
- m. 50 - double barlines at the key/section change (is this your Finale being weird again?). You should also stop your cescendo hairpin before the barline.
- m. 52/60 (and maybe m. 64 as well) - I'd recommend putting an F on top of the LH chord to emphasize the dominant 7th

That's all I found.
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

Quote from: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 11:37:44 AMYay, more Bravely Default!
- m. 19 - would suggest putting a chord on beat 2 like the original instead of just the E
- m. 36 - Move the eighth rest up and mp down, as layer 1 doesn't exist there to push them aside. Same thing with the quarter rest in m. 50 and probably flipping the dyad too.
- m. 52/60 (and maybe m. 64 as well) - I'd recommend putting an F on top of the LH chord to emphasize the dominant 7th
Sure thing.  I assumed you meant bar 64 rather than bar 50 for the rest.

Quote from: Latios212 on December 15, 2018, 11:37:44 AM- m. 50 - double barlines at the key/section change (is this your Finale being weird again?). You should also stop your cescendo hairpin before the barline.

Almost certainly my finale being weird; let me know if it's still not fixed, but it should be.

Thanks for checking it!

Latios212

Oops, I meant to specify bar 65. You can flip the quarter note in the LH up and the dyad in the RH down.

Everything else looks great!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

Spoiler
[close]
turtle

Libera

I meant bar 65 as well haha.  I just completely forgot about flipping the notes.  It should be done now.