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Nine Lives' Replacements

Started by NineLives, May 31, 2020, 10:22:54 AM

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NineLives

Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 25, 2021, 07:25:23 PMDarkmoon Caverns
Just one thing: In the last system, I would keep all the chords in root inversion to keep the sound consistent.
Walrus Cove
Getting back to you on the enharmonic spelling: spell the B#'s as Cn's instead.
Done!

Libera

Quote from: NineLives on February 26, 2021, 11:19:00 AMWhile it would be nice to add in the harp part, I feel it might overcomplicate what I have in measures 11 to 14, since the rest of the piece doesn't have any additions similar to that in other measures. Personally, I find it out of place here, regardless of how it fits in the original source.

I didn't say add the harp part, I suggested adding in the (currently missing) harmony from the harp part.  Something like this:
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Also, the 8vas in 21-28 are a little close to the staff.

Also (x2), if you're slurring repeated notes, you should add in staccatos to help distinguish them from ties.

Also (x3), it seems like all of the articulations have been v26'd and I swear they were fine before.  In any case I'll just fix them at the end.

Also (x4), have you considered adding in more dynamics?  Maybe you don't want to, but it's a thought.

NineLives

Quote from: Libera on February 26, 2021, 02:05:34 PMI didn't say add the harp part, I suggested adding in the (currently missing) harmony from the harp part.
Ah, okay. Sorry, I got confused. Other than that, I made the rest of the changes. For the dynamics, I added some forte and crescendos. Should be good. Sorry that the versions keep getting the articulations mixed up.

mastersuperfan

Darkmoon Caverns
- Bottom note of the chords in m39 beats1-2 and m41 should be F# instead of G.
- I would move the arranger info up so it's not so close to the RH notes at the end of the first system.

Walrus Cove
- I would suggest writing the tempo as quarter=196 instead of half=98. Also, I would move the tempo marking a little bit up so it's not so close to the stem on m1 beat 1.
- In m11/15/35/39, you might consider breaking the beam over the rest. It's acceptable as is, but not beaming over rests is conventionally a bit more preferred.
- The Cn's in m16/32/40 RH (not LH) should be changed back to B#'s; my bad for not specifying.
- In the original track, the whole note in m52 RH only lasts for half the measure. Totally fine if you want to keep it as a whole note, just thought I'd bring up the choice of whole note vs. half note there.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

NineLives

Quote from: mastersuperfan on February 26, 2021, 03:33:11 PMDarkmoon Caverns
- Bottom note of the chords in m39 beats1-2 and m41 should be F# instead of G.
- I would move the arranger info up so it's not so close to the RH notes at the end of the first system.

Walrus Cove
- I would suggest writing the tempo as quarter=196 instead of half=98. Also, I would move the tempo marking a little bit up so it's not so close to the stem on m1 beat 1.
- In m11/15/35/39, you might consider breaking the beam over the rest. It's acceptable as is, but not beaming over rests is conventionally a bit more preferred.
- The Cn's in m16/32/40 RH (not LH) should be changed back to B#'s; my bad for not specifying.
- In the original track, the whole note in m52 RH only lasts for half the measure. Totally fine if you want to keep it as a whole note, just thought I'd bring up the choice of whole note vs. half note there.
Got 'em covered!

Libera

Ah I did try to put this in my picture but I should have mentioned it as well.  Make sure to put the rests in 11-13 back to the usual height.

Also (x5), I know I said to add the staccatos, but I realise that the last one in each set of three should probably not be staccato to reflect the original.  The first two are still useful for distinguishing the phrase mark though.

Everything else looks good.

NineLives

Quote from: Libera on February 26, 2021, 03:55:44 PMAh I did try to put this in my picture but I should have mentioned it as well.  Make sure to put the rests in 11-13 back to the usual height.
Also (x5), I know I said to add the staccatos, but I realise that the last one in each set of three should probably not be staccato to reflect the original.  The first two are still useful for distinguishing the phrase mark though.
Taken care of!

Libera


mastersuperfan

Darkmoon Caverns
I just approved it so someone else can take a look soon but something I just noticed:
- The spacing's a bit uneven/cramped—highlight all measures and go to Utilities > Music Spacing > Apply Note Spacing and it should look better.
- I don't think you need the pedal markings in m31... looks a bit out of place since the rest of the sheet doesn't have any others now anyway.

Walrus Cove and Snakey Chantey coming shortly.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Latios212

Darkmoon Caverns
Aside from what MSF said above which looks already resolved, A flats in m. 5-8 should be G#s (chromatically ascending). That's about it, so I got that for you with the articulation reset (and slight spacing adjustments to the parentheses in m. 4 aren't so squished). Accepting!
My arrangements and YouTube channel!

Quote from: Dudeman on February 22, 2016, 10:16:37 AM
who needs education when you can have WAIFUS!!!!!

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turtle

mastersuperfan

#115
Walrus Cove
Accepted!

Snakey Chantey
- Move the mf a bit down in the pickup measure so that it's more centered between the RH and LH staves.
- I would recommend writing this in 4/4 with q=232 instead of cut time with h=116. The track feels like it has fast quarter-note beats rather than slow half-note beats.
- IMO the LH is too muddy in such a low register. I would strongly recommend raising the entire LH up an octave and writing it in treble clef (except I would still write the phrase m46-49 in bass clef because the LH goes down to a D in m46-47; i.e. raise m46-49 up an octave like everything else but just keep the bass clef there only).
- In m35/m39, I think RH beat 3 also sounds staccato. Also, I would add a slur from beat 1 to beat 2 in both measures to make the phrasing (the first note being held) more visually clear.
- I would remove the eighth note on m42 LH beat 1.5 for playability's sake.
- The Db's in m42/45 LH should be written as C#'s.
- I would suggest removing the lowest notes of the three chords indicated here for playability's sake. The extra note makes it cumbersome to play, and not much is really lost since the note is already doubled an octave up:
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- m45 RH beat 3.5 sounds like a held quarter note rather than an eighth note.
- I would suggest removing the courtesy Fn's in m47-48. It's already pretty obvious that they're Fn's since F# comes right after.
- The last system looks kind of stretched with only two measures. I would either make the last two systems three measures each, or shorten the last system so it doesn't take up the full width of the page.
- m50 RH beat 3 should be written as Ab instead of G#.
- m50 LH beat 4 should have Gn instead of G#.
- Do the music re-spacing again once you've done implemented the changes just to make sure everything's spaced properly.
Quote from: NocturneOfShadow on February 11, 2016, 03:00:36 PMthere's also a huge difference in quality between 2000 songs and 2010 songs
Quote from: Latios212 on February 11, 2016, 03:29:24 PMThe difference between 2000 songs and 2010 songs is 10 songs.

Static

Spaceport Alpha
Looks good except for one thing...

On repeats, m3-4 LH actually should look like m5-6, with the D on beat 2.5. I would just add these 2 extra measures to the end and move the forward repeat sign two measures ahead to m5.

Maelstrom

Quote from: NineLives on February 24, 2021, 04:50:41 PMSwing's been set, and I couldn't pick up anything different in the rhythm of the bass/chords in the source opposed to the sheet after listening for a while except for a few staccatos and similar.
I went through and double checked it all. Looks great!
 accepted

NineLives

"Snakey Chantey" and "Spaceport Alpha" have both been updated!

Static