The Rant Thread/My Life Sucks Topic [Don't be pricks]

[Ruto]

just how useful is internet sympathy anyway, imo it's just knowing that people are hearing you that's important

how useful is internet anything -.-

[mikey]

internet google is pretty useful

[Olimar12345]

internet google is pretty useful

If only people knew how to use it -____-

[Ruto]

I've used it for research, but for every useful time, there are 5 more instances where people use it to whine and expect the outpouring of sympathy. Then make me sound like the bad guy if I don't give it or don't seem to care.

[Jub3r7]

All of NSM is free to laugh at me and call me a mutant freak with a creepy mindset

nsfw

I was once infatuated with a guy who had a vore fetish,
slowpokemon might know of him as "the furry"

[close]

the main thing is, even if that part of you came from a bad place, it's not evil. having a victory over your abuser won't make you instantly okay, but it is a huge step in getting better.
there's no need to demonize something that turns you on, especially if it's making you unhappy.
If you really don't like it you can try to get your mind off of it with something else and try to change as a person, but that's so much easier said than done.

[TheDreamingHawk]

just how useful is internet sympathy anyway, imo it's just knowing that people are hearing you that's important

I could less about sympathy. All I want is simple advice on why my other half isn't diminishing or anything after defeating my mother, which my own counselor and grandmother don't think I need as they both say it's fine to have those interests, when I fear it's not normal and it could cost me jobs.

the main thing is, even if that part of you came from a bad place, it's not evil. having a victory over your abuser won't make you instantly okay, but it is a huge step in getting better.
there's no need to demonize something that turns you on, especially if it's making you unhappy.
If you really don't like it you can try to get your mind off of it with something else and try to change as a person, but that's so much easier said than done.

It's hard to explain, but in general I've tamed it so that I can keep it to myself on a small corner of the web, but the fact that I even have to do that makes me fear I'm doing something wrong/shaming myself. I just don't feel "normal" and while I'm used to it now (making removing it impossible), I just am scared sick it'll cost me a future job or reputation due to the stigma that having a fetish corrupts the mind.

[Altissimo]

[snip]

[SlowPokemon]

I hate to tell you this but you might very well have had your vore fetish with or without your mother. Thousands of people with a completely normal childhood have the same fetish, and it's very very difficult if not impossible to "force" a sexual fetish on anyone. She may have just introduced you to it at a young age--as horrible and reprehensible and shitty as that is, it's very likely it's just a part of you as a person. I also want to point out that like Altissimo is implying, you don't need to tell potential employers or even anyone else about it, lol.

[JDMEK5]

It's hard to explain, but in general I've tamed it so that I can keep it to myself on a small corner of the web, but the fact that I even have to do that makes me fear I'm doing something wrong/shaming myself. I just don't feel "normal" and while I'm used to it now (making removing it impossible), I just am scared sick it'll cost me a future job or reputation due to the stigma that having a fetish corrupts the mind.

From what I've gathered, fetishes are quite common, have no real negative impact (except maybe the turning on at inconvenient times), and are an innate part of the individual in question (can't be learned or forced; like genetics). I don't think it's anything to be ashamed or concerned about. And I definitely wouldn't worry about it costing you a job or reputation because the chances are decent that said future boss may very well have a fetish him/herself.

[Tobbeh99]

Man, I've been having an annoying cold since the weekend. Thought it would go over quickly, but it's really slow and annoying, but I started to feel a lot better now however.

[TheDreamingHawk]

I ain't ever heard that one before. Everyone's got some weird shit they're into, no matter how much they try to tell you otherwise. But how would it even come up in a job or whatever?

The fear of being in trouble at a possible job is mainly because my dad gave me a good yelling when I confessed to him what was in my mind a few years ago. My Grandparents and Aunt may be A-OK with it but my father grew paranoid and practically told me to ditch the fetish as he said Employees will search your online profiles for all info they can find to do a "background check". At the time he said that I could care less about getting a job but now that I'm 18 and am considering some advanced tech jobs for once I get through college I'm a bit nervous that this thing in my mind will cost me everything if what he says is true.

Granted, I had the same fears about being accepted once I learned I had Aspergers Syndrome, since it started off as a diagnosis that was hidden from me until I was 10 years old when my mother told me during one of our supervised visits, and even then I wasn't allowed to know until I was 13 because my grandparents knew I wouldn't be taking it too happily, so they got really angry when I came home and told them what my mom said made me different.

Believe it or not, out of all the things she's done since my rescue, that was actually the best thing she did IMO since it made me stop my bullying of autistic people at my school because they drove me up the wall. Once I learned that I was just like them I practically went into hating myself for a good few months since I was one of the kids I poked fun of, and even after elementary school my self-hatred continued for a good off-and on period of a few more years until I manned up and grew out of it, mostly thanks to me learning that some really influential people in the world had it as well.

If I wasn't informed about what I had until I was 13, while I wouldn't have gotten the on and off depression, I would have likely continued my bullying to fit in with the kids at the school, even if it was at the expense of others. Looking back now, becoming depressed over that was what made me into a more accepting person compared to other folks my age who still pick on those kids (including me now, on rare occasions but I'm good with it)

This on the other hand? Despite my googling I can't find a single influential person who has an odd interest like me... Which makes me sorta feel much, much worse about this than I was about Aspergers, especially since I had that from birth while this ended up growing due to circumstances out of my control.

I hate to tell you this but you might very well have had your vore fetish with or without your mother. Thousands of people with a completely normal childhood have the same fetish, and it's very very difficult if not impossible to "force" a sexual fetish on anyone. She may have just introduced you to it at a young age--as horrible and reprehensible and shitty as that is, it's very likely it's just a part of you as a person. I also want to point out that like Altissimo is implying, you don't need to tell potential employers or even anyone else about it, lol.

I've thought about that possibility as well, but considering how I was only seven when my near-death experience happened, and how afterwards my mother grew so paranoid that she'd constantly talk about things so out of this world such as that expletive term for "wishing I never was born and just stayed put", I still blame her for making it apart of me, even if I would have had it normally I'd rather it be natural and under my control instead of being inflicted on me. And ironically before then I was very, very afraid of anything creepy like that. I played Ocarina of time as a kid and the third dungeon gave me friggin Nightmares due to those creepy tentacle enemies, disturbing music and the whole theme of the dungeon. Shortly after my rescue I was scared of the other dungeons still but oddly not that one anymore. Coincidence? I think not, sadly. Of course now that I'm an adult I got over my fear of the other dungeons and love the game like anyone else, but the fact that the third dungeon of that game was the first thing I got over just seems really odd to me.

And of course, I know I shouldn't expect employers to ask me about odd things like that, but if my dad's mention towards background checks are correct, then I have every reason to be concerned if they'll look through all corners of your life.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a counselor to see if I can fix myself or at least get treatment. If he still denies that there's anything wrong with me despite my gut instinct and fear of wanting to be a perfect, courteous person with 100% abstinence without any odd thoughts whatsoever, then I honestly don't know what to do. Dad is the most stern one in our family and having been burned by my mother (before I was born, I might add meaning that my life with my mom didn't include my dad) didn't help matters much for him either.

[FireArrow]

Employers don't care what fetishes you have. Those background checks are for things like posting nudes and stuff.

Trust me, if they did background checks as thourough as you fear, anyone who's ever watched a porno would be out of work.

[Altissimo]

[snip]

[Ruto]

Spoiler

The fear of being in trouble at a possible job is mainly because my dad gave me a good yelling when I confessed to him what was in my mind a few years ago. My Grandparents and Aunt may be A-OK with it but my father grew paranoid and practically told me to ditch the fetish as he said Employees will search your online profiles for all info they can find to do a "background check". At the time he said that I could care less about getting a job but now that I'm 18 and am considering some advanced tech jobs for once I get through college I'm a bit nervous that this thing in my mind will cost me everything if what he says is true.

Granted, I had the same fears about being accepted once I learned I had Aspergers Syndrome, since it started off as a diagnosis that was hidden from me until I was 10 years old when my mother told me during one of our supervised visits, and even then I wasn't allowed to know until I was 13 because my grandparents knew I wouldn't be taking it too happily, so they got really angry when I came home and told them what my mom said made me different.

Believe it or not, out of all the things she's done since my rescue, that was actually the best thing she did IMO since it made me stop my bullying of autistic people at my school because they drove me up the wall. Once I learned that I was just like them I practically went into hating myself for a good few months since I was one of the kids I poked fun of, and even after elementary school my self-hatred continued for a good off-and on period of a few more years until I manned up and grew out of it, mostly thanks to me learning that some really influential people in the world had it as well.

If I wasn't informed about what I had until I was 13, while I wouldn't have gotten the on and off depression, I would have likely continued my bullying to fit in with the kids at the school, even if it was at the expense of others. Looking back now, becoming depressed over that was what made me into a more accepting person compared to other folks my age who still pick on those kids (including me now, on rare occasions but I'm good with it)

This on the other hand? Despite my googling I can't find a single influential person who has an odd interest like me... Which makes me sorta feel much, much worse about this than I was about Aspergers, especially since I had that from birth while this ended up growing due to circumstances out of my control.

I've thought about that possibility as well, but considering how I was only seven when my near-death experience happened, and how afterwards my mother grew so paranoid that she'd constantly talk about things so out of this world such as that expletive term for "wishing I never was born and just stayed put", I still blame her for making it apart of me, even if I would have had it normally I'd rather it be natural and under my control instead of being inflicted on me. And ironically before then I was very, very afraid of anything creepy like that. I played Ocarina of time as a kid and the third dungeon gave me friggin Nightmares due to those creepy tentacle enemies, disturbing music and the whole theme of the dungeon. Shortly after my rescue I was scared of the other dungeons still but oddly not that one anymore. Coincidence? I think not, sadly. Of course now that I'm an adult I got over my fear of the other dungeons and love the game like anyone else, but the fact that the third dungeon of that game was the first thing I got over just seems really odd to me.

And of course, I know I shouldn't expect employers to ask me about odd things like that, but if my dad's mention towards background checks are correct, then I have every reason to be concerned if they'll look through all corners of your life.

Tomorrow, I'm going to a counselor to see if I can fix myself or at least get treatment. If he still denies that there's anything wrong with me despite my gut instinct and fear of wanting to be a perfect, courteous person with 100% abstinence without any odd thoughts whatsoever, then I honestly don't know what to do. Dad is the most stern one in our family and having been burned by my mother (before I was born, I might add meaning that my life with my mom didn't include my dad) didn't help matters much for him either.

[close]

If you don't want people to ever find out about any of this, why post ANY of it online? You're taking people for fools if you think they'll never be able to trace your online accounts -.- I wonder why anyone thinks the internet is actually anonymous...even a search of an email finds all the stuff that shouldn't even be shared.

[Dude]

If you don't want people to ever find out about any of this, why post ANY of it online? You're taking people for fools if you think they'll never be able to trace your online accounts -.- I wonder why anyone thinks the internet is actually anonymous...even a search of an email finds all the stuff that shouldn't even be shared.

That's why you use different emails for different places.

You really should be less apathetic to people who share their problems, Ruto.