Comments on Paper NSM and the Thousand Year Door

[Dudeman]

No worries; I found the lack of description hilarious! Plus it will leave everyone else in suspense...

And nice job on the first chapter! Everything's set up and your characters stand out from each other. Keep it up!

[ThatGamer]

I just checked my desription in protagonists! Very nice! I like how I was described! 

[Hero of Trains]

Great job! (Although in real life I more often use well balanced knives, which can be thrown or used in close combat as well)
But for the purposes of the story, a hammer/cannon is great!

[ThatGamer]

Great job! (Although in real life I more often use well balanced knives, which can be thrown or used in close combat as well)
But for the purposes of the story, a hammer/cannon is great!

In real life I don't regularly kill people...

[Hero of Trains]

Hey, I don't kill anyone! But I know how to defend myself. Also there's a ton of good books on things like lock picking and knife throwing.

[ThatGamer]

Hey, I don't kill anyone! But I know how to defend myself. Also there's a ton of good books on things like lock picking and knife throwing.

I never learned how to defend myself...

[mikey]

And that I will!
2 questions, when can we play lol together and what do you want your role to be? Just his pet?

for the record I can usually play anytime

[mayastarr041]

for the record I can usually play anytime

Great! Didya add me yet?

[FireArrow]

Oh oh oh, I can help you with shipping your characters!

[Dudeman]

wait what who ever said shipping was involved

next up they'll start making creepy fan art

and fanfics of a fanfic

[Tobbeh99]

Nice you added my character description.

[blueflower999]

I started reading. Looks promising enough.

[mayastarr041]

Thanks guys and your welcome! And fire, if you really want a ship, we can arrange thay! Maybe Trains and Dudeman?

[braix]

Sorry




"Hey!" a voice rang out as I turned to see a blue Bob-omb, "You knew here?"  -->  "Hey!" a voice rang out as I turned to see a blue Bob-omb, "You new here?"

Uknown to her a grunt was behind her and was about to strike.  -->  Unknown to her, a grunt was behind her and was about to strike.

Trains sidestepped and gave him him a hard kick.  -->  She sidestepped and gave him a hard kick. (You don't know who the girl is yet)

The air grew darker and colder and tendrils of Shadows wrapped around us, restricting movement.  -->  The air grew darker and colder and tendrils of shadows wrapped around us, restricting movement.

She growled and for a moment, something weird happened.  -->  The queen growled and for a moment, something weird happened. (The reader can mistake "She" for Trains)

"Watch where you're going loser!" he yelled at us.  -->  "Watch where you're going, loser!" he yelled at us.

"We are trying tog fight the Shadow Queen and obtain the crystal stars," Trains explained as Pianist tensed again.  -->  "We are trying to fight the Shadow Queen and obtain the crystal stars," Trains explained as Pianist tensed again.

"We could use are not her member."  -->  "We could use another member."

[Hero of Trains]

No.

Not to be rude or anything, Dudeman's quite nice, but no shipping me with anybody. Or else I'll use my hammer/cannon and blast your brains out. Got it? Great! 

Also Braix, it's "We are trying to  fight the Shadow Queen"