Comments on Paper NSM and the Thousand Year Door

Started by mayastarr041, August 25, 2015, 08:56:03 PM

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mayastarr041

Quote from: braixen1264 on August 27, 2015, 06:38:17 PMSorry




"Hey!" a voice rang out as I turned to see a blue Bob-omb, "You knew here?"  -->  "Hey!" a voice rang out as I turned to see a blue Bob-omb, "You new here?"

Uknown to her a grunt was behind her and was about to strike.  -->  Unknown to her, a grunt was behind her and was about to strike.

Trains sidestepped and gave him him a hard kick.  -->  She sidestepped and gave him a hard kick. (You don't know who the girl is yet)

The air grew darker and colder and tendrils of Shadows wrapped around us, restricting movement.  -->  The air grew darker and colder and tendrils of shadows wrapped around us, restricting movement.

She growled and for a moment, something weird happened.  -->  The queen growled and for a moment, something weird happened. (The reader can mistake "She" for Trains)

"Watch where you're going loser!" he yelled at us.  -->  "Watch where you're going, loser!" he yelled at us.

"We are trying tog fight the Shadow Queen and obtain the crystal stars," Trains explained as Pianist tensed again.  -->  "We are trying too fight the Shadow Queen and obtain the crystal stars," Trains explained as Pianist tensed again.

"We could use are not her member."  -->  "We could use another member."
Oh thank you! I just realized those! You're the best!
I should really check more thoroughly! Thanks again!
Hero of Trains is the BEST! Love you girl!

braix

Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

ThatGamer

Quote from: braixen1264 on August 27, 2015, 06:38:17 PMSorry




"Hey!" a voice rang out as I turned to see a blue Bob-omb, "You knew here?"  -->  "Hey!" a voice rang out as I turned to see a blue Bob-omb, "You new here?"

Uknown to her a grunt was behind her and was about to strike.  -->  Unknown to her, a grunt was behind her and was about to strike.

Trains sidestepped and gave him him a hard kick.  -->  She sidestepped and gave him a hard kick. (You don't know who the girl is yet)

The air grew darker and colder and tendrils of Shadows wrapped around us, restricting movement.  -->  The air grew darker and colder and tendrils of shadows wrapped around us, restricting movement.

She growled and for a moment, something weird happened.  -->  The queen growled and for a moment, something weird happened. (The reader can mistake "She" for Trains)

"Watch where you're going loser!" he yelled at us.  -->  "Watch where you're going, loser!" he yelled at us.

"We are trying tog fight the Shadow Queen and obtain the crystal stars," Trains explained as Pianist tensed again.  -->  "We are trying too fight the Shadow Queen and obtain the crystal stars," Trains explained as Pianist tensed again.

"We could use are not her member."  -->  "We could use another member."

Braixen, you fool, you got it wrong still...

We are trying to fight the shadow queen...
Quote from: Altissimo on August 29, 2015, 12:00:16 PM
Since I haven't heard from her personally I don't wanna be like "YO HERE'S THE CHATROOM OK"

mayastarr041

Quote from: Hero of Trains on August 27, 2015, 06:41:42 PMNo.

Not to be rude or anything, Dudeman's quite nice, but no shipping me with anybody. Or else I'll use my hammer/cannon and blast your brains out. Got it? Great!  ;D

Also Braix, it's "We are trying to  fight the Shadow Queen" ;)

Yes ma'm, I won't be shipping you with anyone! :)
I want to be in one piece!  ;)
Hero of Trains is the BEST! Love you girl!

braix

Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

ThatGamer

Oops, looks like Trains and Braixen beat me too it!

see what i did there
Quote from: Altissimo on August 29, 2015, 12:00:16 PM
Since I haven't heard from her personally I don't wanna be like "YO HERE'S THE CHATROOM OK"

mayastarr041

I'm literally face palmung hard. Are not her member? *groan*
Hero of Trains is the BEST! Love you girl!

Dudeman

Quote from: Hero of Trains on August 27, 2015, 06:41:42 PMNot to be rude or anything, Dudeman's quite nice, but no shipping me with anybody. Or else I'll use my hammer/cannon and blast your brains out. Got it? Great!  ;D
dudeman x trains action make it happen
Quote from: braixen1264 on December 03, 2015, 03:52:29 PMDudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

Hero of Trains

Quote from: Dudeman on May 22, 2015, 06:24:42 PM
See guys? Trains isn't nice all the time.
Quote from: also Dudeman
Trains is so nice that I'm sure she'd resurrect herself for a few minutes to compliment you back

braix

I'm literally face palmung hard. Are not her member? *groan*  -->  I'm literally face palming hard. Another member? *groan*
Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

mayastarr041

Very funny Braix. I really need a spell checker for tissue damn site.
Hero of Trains is the BEST! Love you girl!

Dudeman

Very funny Braix. I really need a spell checker for tissue damn site. --> Very funny Braix. I really need a spell checker for this damn site.

okay im done
Quote from: braixen1264 on December 03, 2015, 03:52:29 PMDudeman's facial hair is number 1 in my book

braix

Quote from: mayastarr041 on August 27, 2015, 06:52:11 PMVery funny Braix. I really need a spell checker for tissue damn site.

You can send me the chapters before you release them so I can edit it for you.
You get spell check, I get early access! Win win!
Quote from: MaestroUGC on August 19, 2015, 12:22:27 PM
Braixen is a wonderful [insert gender] with beautiful [corresponding gender trait] and is just the darlingest at [stereotypical activity typically associated with said gender] you ever saw.

mayastarr041

#58
Not you too Dudrman! Aren't you supposed to be dead? Trains shot you!
Hero of Trains is the BEST! Love you girl!

mayastarr041

#59
Quote from: braixen1264 on August 27, 2015, 06:55:39 PMYou can send me the chapters before you release them so I can edit it for you.
You get spell check, I get early access! Win win!
Hmmmmm. Nope! ;D
I'm kidding! You have yourself a deal!
Hero of Trains is the BEST! Love you girl!