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Messages - Latios212

Pages: [1] 2 3 ... 457
1
Awesome, the changes look great! A few last comments from me:
- Finger numbers - in m. 2 I think it might be better to have the number above the staff instead of intersecting it, and in m. 41 the one over the grace note would be better off regular size. (Ran through these quickly and they seem sensible - nice for adding clarity :) )
- I'd suggest removing the slurs between repeated notes in the RH of m. 30-36 - they could be visually mistaken for ties and at this speed I don't think the notation will affect much how the note will be re-struck.
- I think the last RH note in the lower layer in m. 37 is offset a bit much to the right - compare the note with the tenuto to the one under it.
- Don't forget to update the submission title in the NSM Panel too.

And regarding the additional harmonies added to the right hand in m. 14-21:
- I think the 4-note chords for the four eighth notes in beats 3-4 of m. 14 and 18 might be a bit much. Probably the beat 1 (and maybe 3) of these measures would be the best places to emphasize the harmony without making it much heavier/more difficult to play.
- I think that any additional harmonies in here would probably be best applied to the end section as well (m. 38/40/42/44 in particular since the other measures in the end section have other stuff going on).

I'm almost ready to approve, but I'll let MSF comment on some of the accompaniment changes before we finish up :P

2
2020 Week 16

Olberic's boss battle intro. Octopath Traveler has a really neat little thing where a character's boss battle intro will playing during a scene before the boss and it transitions into one of the boss battle themes when it finishes.

Octopath Traveler
NEW!   For Redemption[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF] [Original] 


3
- The beginning of m. 32 RH sounds like it should be G#-C# just like the other places to me
Hmm I definitely hear the major second interval with the B below, but I've added back in the G# as well.
Hm listening again I think I hear a B an octave below so I suppose it's fine here... it just sounds a bit denser than the original. Up to you I suppose.

- I think there's a B missing in the bass of m. 45 (after the D# with the grace notes)
I agree that a note is missing but it sounds like a C# to me.
Ah, yep.

- The second to last bass note in m. 73 sounds like A instead of D
I can hear both now so I'm not really sure.  Maybe some other part is confusing me...
This one I'm pretty sure of - don't really hear the figure jump up and play D-E-D there.

Anyway I'm just about done with this one - looks awesome :) I know MSF wanted to give it a quick peek before we close on this one, so I'll accept shortly after that! A quick look at the last point would be helpful but other than that yeah I think I'm done with this one~

4
Looking good! You're welcome, approved :)

5
For bar 44 would it not make more sense to have the A in the right hand and the G in the left hand?  That way the hands don't overlap and beat 2 of the RH matches beats 3 and 4.
I wrote it like that to capture the exact movement of the two voices in the original, but I guess swapping them makes a bit more sense from a musical and performance standpoint. I can swap them.

Files updated, thanks again~

6
Nice piece, nice arrangement.  There's a fair bit of feedback below but it's all mostly just details. 
Thanks! Yeah a lot of good stuff here, I really appreciate the careful look. Lots of details to iron out.

So yeah, bar 5.  I really think that the melody should be included here (because that's what this omitted voice is).  While the piano may be higher in mix (perhaps in volume and pitch) it's just four repeated chords that are serving to accompany the repeat of the melodic line from bar 2.  I also think that by omitting this melody the resolution into bar 6 is greatly diminished (we get a static line that goes chord -> exactly the same chord as opposed to the melody which soars up to the top D).
Since you mentioned it a while back I've come to appreciate the importance of reiterating this melody when listening every now and then. I really like your suggestion which is much better than crushing the melody between the two voices on the lower staff - the melody sounds good up there and the piano chords sound find inverted. Definitely like how it resolves to the upper D in the chord in m. 6, too. I've written it as you have (keeping the offbeat D's in the left hand) and also split m. 6 RH into two layers. :D

I'll reply inline for the rest of these since most of them are rather small and to keep the size of this post down...

Anyway... other stuff:

-This isn't super important but I think the tempo marking would look better if it was positioned normally horizontally but higher up so it's above the 8va. Got it
-Any reason for a cresc. rather than a hairpin in bar 5?  I think hairpins are generally clearer so you should use them when possible. I think I did that originally because it wouldn't line up with the mf on a vertical level. Not a problem anymore though as I've poked things around a bit.
-You could put in another high A for bar 4 if you wanted.  I don't mind really. Eh, probably not. The focus is definitely on the other notes by this point.
-I'm not actually sure I hear the left hand D on beat 4.5 of bar 5 (although this point doesn't matter at all if you take my suggestion above...) I think it may still be there, I left it in
-I think there's a lower E on beat 4.5 of bar 6 in the left hand. Yup
-In addition to my previous point about the resolution into bar 6, I think the chord sounds kind of off to me.  I think it's because it's missing a G from the strings in the original, so maybe consider adding that in. Yup
-The chord in bar 7 is actually completely measured, so I don't think it needs a fermata on it. I think I originally wrote that in for effect, though given what this section looks like the performer will probably do that if they feel like anyway, so yeah I took it out
-The pair of triplets in 28 should be a sextuplet (with the beam still broken in the middle like it is here), right?  That was my understanding of the correct notation here, because we're in 4/4. Yeah I think so
-I think the little guy at the end of 29 is actually demi triplets, like this:
Spoiler
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Although honestly I think you could get away with graces here, but your choice. Ah, yeah I couldn't shake the feeling that something was off when I was playing it. Thanks, this looks right. I wrote the chord as a quarter tied to dotted eighth instead. Didn't want to use grace notes since it very much sounds like part of the melody.
-There's an extra A in the trumpet solo in bar 30, like this:
Spoiler
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Yup
-Rolls on the notes in bar 34? Just beat 2, I think
-It feels weird to me to start with the guitar on beat 2 of bar 42 and then drop to the piano on beat 3.  I think it'd make more sense to play the A -> B from the guitar on beat 3 and then continue with the piano on beat 3.5.  At least, I think that's the most natural way to hear the combination of those two lines.  You could even put the E below if you really think it's important. Ah yeah, I should have included that. I've written in both parts using an additional layer.
-Sounds more like an A at the top of the chord in bar 43 beat 1 to me, in the guitar and piano. I had to do a double take here since this also felt weird to me when I was writing it out originally. The piano plays the B that I wrote in, but the guitar plays a quick A-B-A so these parts overlap a little oddly. That said, I think just writing in the guitar part with an A in the melody sounds good since we've got a D chord here. I've moved the C to the left hand to give the right hand an easier time playing the grace notes.
-I think the piano plays both a G and an A on beat 2 of bar 44, so, while it's not really wrong what you're written, I think it might make more sense to have the A instead so that those sets of four all match each other. The piano plays a G, and the guitar plays the A. I'll keep both and adjust the way the parts are written slightly.
-There's also some additional harmony that you could include if you wanted to in the run in 44, but I actually think sticking to the single run is better like you have it. Yeah, I think just the run is good.
-I think there's an E on beat 2.5 of bar 11 (LH) like in 19. It's kinda quiet, but I can include it
-Bring off the left hand D on beat 3 of bar 12 like in 15? Yup
-I hear another left hand B on beat 2.5 of bar 14.  Same for bar 22.  Same for 40 I think?  Not as sure for this one. Ah yeah. I'll leave 40 as is since I already have a B on beat 2 and the RH is playing stuff on beat 2.5.
-None of the extra harmony on beat 4 of bar 15? No space to fit anything between the LH and RH parts, and I wanted to keep the melody on top throughout this part (actually the entire piece pretty much). The D7b9 gets several other chances to shine :)
-In comparison to the previous point, I think that the chord you've written in for beat 3 of bar 16 is rather more heavy than it is in original, which is more of a light resolution.  Does it really need to double the tonic and the fifth? Ooh yeah not sure why I did that.
-Missing a C on beat 3.5 of bar 23?  Could be in the left or the right hand. Yup
-I think it'd be nice to include the whole of the arpeggio in bar 24, finishing on beat 3.  Any reason that you didn't? I think it was a bit weird to write out, but I think I've got it now
-There's something kind of funny about the bass going on in 25-33 with regards to octaves but I think what you have keeps everything consistent so I'm just going to leave it. Yeah sometimes for different pieces the octave of the bass throws me off but I think everything flows and transitions pretty nicely here.
-The third note of the right hand in bar 32 should be a D I think (which matches the rest of the ascending pattern as well). Ah man, that's the worst mistake here. That was just flat-out wrong haha. Definitely a D
-The chord in bar 32 is missing an A I think, but it might be kind of awkward to play so maybe you want to leave it out.  I don't mind. Yeah, think it's better without since the melody just played an A before anyway
-You could write the A in for the piano part in beat 2.75 of bar 35 like you did for bar 38.  Same for 39. I avoided doing that because the original actually plays a B there rather than an A so 35/39 are an omission rather than an overlap like in 38.
-I think you should put the B -> C semiquavers at the end of bar 38 down the octave.  I think here there's really no way to not confuse this for the melody and they're actually resolving up to the D which is now an octave below. Yup
Also, a couple small things I did were add a harmony note under the E in the RH of m. 25 since it sounded a little empty before (all in one layer now) and adjust the spacing slightly in m. 41 to give the flat more room. Everything above should be updated, I think...

Honestly this trumpet solo is so great it made me go and get my trumpet and butcher it horribly; good stuff.  I should really practice more haha.
Definitely my favorite part of this piece is the trumpet. Brass is not typically my favorite, but it's just so perfectly played for the melody of this piece.

7
Cool! Let's see...

- I think the voices in the LH of the second to last measure are doing this:

I'd just omit the D on beat 2 to have the eighth note voice ascend, but your choice.
-Ah, that's the measure. I do hear the D on the eighth note ascend though. Is there a better way of keeping it in, or does it have to be an eighth overlapping a quarter?
I'm pretty sure the D on beat 2 is part of the lower layer, not the eighth note layer. If you want to keep it, I think the way I have it in the picture works best, though we can separate the two notes on beat 2 horizontally by a few notches.

- I'm not sure the lower layer C's in the last couple measures are right.
-Still trying to figure out those notes in the last few measures. Changed them and I think they're at least closer to what it's supposed to be.
Yeah, I think this works :P

-also in m21-24, the slurs don't work in MuseScore because of the layers (msf "MuseScore is bad") so if I can't figure it out in Finale, they will be missing but they are going from beat1 in 21 connected to the C on beat 1 in 22 (and then basically the same for 23-24 with slurs).
Got 21-22, that's easy. 23-24 are a bit trickier because the bottom voice moves to the top. I've done something a bit unconventional for 23-24 but I think this is probably the best way to write it.

also also please let me know how bad the Finale file ended up in the conversion. Testing to see if Power Field was a fluke.
Workable - things are a little wonky but all the notes and articulations came in correctly, which is the important part.. I pasted everything into a template file and poked a few things around, like:
- measure distribution (an even four per system!)
- more space between LH/RH staves when needed
- poking/prodding of the expression text and rest heights
- flipping the lower layer in m. 11-12 down

And lastly, slurs and articulations:
-I think I added too many articulations... do you think it's too much?
Overall this looks pretty good. A few suggestions:
- Staccatos on the quarter notes in the first three measures
- Extending slurs to the last note that the melody is tied to (e.g. in m. 8 and 12
- It's not really as necessary to have one gigantic slur in m. 13-15 and 17-19. What I was trying to get at was more the differences in the way the melody notes are played in m. 5-12, which I think you've done well.
- Extending the slur in m. 25 to the first staccato note

I think everything else looks pretty good, so I uploaded files with all the above polish stuff. If all looks good to you, I approve :)

8
Feedback :)

- Dynamics - would definitely suggest varying it up more than just a mf at the start :P While the original doesn't change in volume much, some parts are more climactic than others and there's definitely a few notable places where the piece builds up or releases tension between sections. Here's what I'd personally suggest, though of course you're free to do what you feel is right:
  - f at 2
  - ff at 14
  - mf at 30
  - f at 34
  - ff at 38
  - mf at 45
  - crescendos in the first and last measures
- The couple of LH chords in m. 3 (beats 3.5-4) sound a bit muddy. Are you trying to highlight the D#-E motion? If so, I think you could go without the octave G's enclosing them.
- I think the Gn's in m. 26/28/29 would be better written as Fx's to match the upper layers - those octaves don't look like octaves right now. (If so, the a courtesy sharp would be good on the first F# in m. 29)
- The jumps between octave 16th notes look pretty tough in 34/36 and 39/43... think you could maybe omit a couple of notes or otherwise make adjustments, or do you think it's playable as written?
- I don't think the courtesy sharps are necessary in m. 40 - they directly follow the key signature and C#s in the previous measure. The latter is true for m. 44 as well.
- The title's just "Disco Devil", no "The", unlike the other bosses...

man I could just keep listening to this track all night

9
I didn't actually check any notes when I wrote the above post, but I have now! A few more comments on the sheet, in addition to the above:
- So close to getting all the notes right... :P the A flats in the LH of m. 67-68 should be natural
- I'd recommend a courtesy flat on the first LH note of m. 23/47/59
- Dynamics - would definitely recommend more than just a mf at the beginning. Might I suggest at the very least a transition to f for the section in m. 51? I feel like that's the most exciting part of the piece and you only have single notes compared to the octaves that the previous section built up. (If so, don't forget a reminder dynamic back in m. 3)
- Beaming - I'd suggest not beaming over rests for much of this piece's melody. I think it's fine in m. 2 to emphasize those chords are from a different part but places like m. 5, 9, etc. could probably go without. Especially places like m. 13 and 68 where you have two disjoint phrases, no need to beam them together. Skimming the piece, I'd suggest cutting all beams over rests except for maybe the places with the chords in the right hand (2/26/50/70), which are also okay to change if you want.

10
My second (final?) round of feedback, just a few small things here and there:
- Something I just noticed... the ppp at the beginning is small because the notes are small.
- Thoughts about flipping the tie in m. 25/57/99 so it points downward away from the note above?
- The bass in the original at the beginning of m. 28 plays E instead of G#
- I don't really hear the B re-struck in the chord in m. 29
- The beginning of m. 32 RH sounds like it should be G#-C# just like the other places to me
- The last bass note in m. 44 sounds like D# instead of E
- I think there's a B missing in the bass of m. 45 (after the D# with the grace notes)
- The last couple of bass notes in m. 46 sound an octave down from where they are now. Did you raise them?
- The second to last bass note in m. 73 sounds like A instead of D
- Overlapping notes on beat 1 of 85/89 I assume are not intentional?
- The chord in m. 106 - I hear C on top here. So bottom to top, A-E-F-G-C. (Man, I love these chords at the end.)

11
Submissions / Re: [NDS] Rhythm Heaven - "Remix 10" by mastersuperfan
« on: April 18, 2021, 02:09:45 AM »
I'm pretty distinctly hearing two eighths. Maybe you're thinking of the original?
Nope, a quarter is what I hear in this version - pretty sure about that. (Discussed over Discord and that was updated too)

I don't like having complete silence on beat 3... The run feels more complete if it ends on the beat.
Yeah... that makes sense. I think it'd be better ending on an F but aside from adjusting the run's length I don't have any suggestions so I guess it works.

Last thing - perhaps a C# instead of Db in m. 74? Db makes sense as the minor 7th of the root Eb but... it's chromatically ascending here and there's a Dn in the RH, so idk :P

Anyway, approving ^^

12
m16 RH: I hear the F# in the top layer tied to beat 3, and I don't hear the last grace note. Beat 3 itself sounds like a 16th-dotted 8th rhythm to me. Maybe someone else can double-check this, but that's what I hear at least.
Yep, this sounds right to me as written.

A last few edits before accepting:
- Adding a p dynamic on the last note for the loop back to the beginning, lowering dynamics a bit to be closer to the midpoint between the staves
- Giving the rolled octave in the last measure a little more space on the left

13
Submissions / Re: [NDS] Rhythm Heaven - "Remix 10" by mastersuperfan
« on: April 18, 2021, 12:30:07 AM »
Great work! Really interesting how this one transitions and modulates so rapidly...

Karate Man
- Where does the G-A dyad in m. 4 come from? I think a glissando from a high E would work really nice here (and still be fine to play at this tempo).
- Wow those accidentals are weird in m. 8... notably the shift from Eb to D# in the bottom note. I can't think of a better way to write it, though.
- You have D# for the chords in m. 115-116 whereas you have Eb in m. 3-4. I think either would work (D# maybe preferable since it's the major third above the root B, although the augmented fifth is being written as G instead of Fx so eh) but yeah these should be consistent

Moai Doo-Wop
- It's weird that the text is creeping up to the header level... maybe reduce the space between LH/RH staves in the first system or somewhere else on the page to lower this a little?

Crop Stomp
- I assume you're using that other layer in beat 4.5 of the LH in m. 17 and 19, but I think the last note of m. 19 is F rather than Bn

Love Lab
- The melody at the beginning of 29 should be a quarter rather than two eights

Airboarder
- The melody in m. 72 beat 2 should be held instead of going down to a C

Glee Club
- The left hand seems a bit... low? Thoughts about raising it an octave?

Fillbots
- Any reason why the RH's up an octave?
- I'm not sure these should all be parallel fourths in m. 80, the original seems to stick to the chord tones a bit more. Though the fourths definitely sound alright.

Karate Man (Reprise)
- I think the descent in m. 118 should end in a rest on beat 3 rather than the E you have written.

14
have an approve

15
Great, everything looks good. Accepting! ;D

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