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Messages - Latios212

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2021 Week 24

Here's another nice piano solo from the remake of Famicom Detective Club: The Missing Heir!

Famicom Detective Club: The Missing Heir
NEW!   Memories[MUS] [MIDI] [PDF] [Original] 

Also, me playing my other sheet from last time - Utsugi Detective Agency.

On the subject of this- is it preferable to have both the trumpet and sax parallel third notes at the end of the phrase instead of the beginning?  I just want to be consistent if it's done differently elsewhere/considered easier to play
It could work either way, depending on both how you want it to sound and how natural of unnatural the thirds make the line to play. For what you have written, I think it's fine overall. However, since you asked:
- The F forming a third in m. 43 beat 1 doesn't do much and makes it harder to play beat 1.5 as it's a restrike, so I'd say you can take it out. Looking at this part again, I'm now realizing that the melody should play a Cb instead of Db at the end of the phrase on beat 2.5. You could add a melody Ab underneath it, but doing so would make it a bit more difficult to play (and beat 2.5 is already accented and has an Ab in the LH part).
- I think it'd be fine to preserve the thirds in m. 33. There's no change in hand or fingering position required for that, just a bit of dexterity.

Also, the tempo marking should still be raised a bit, and the accent is on the wrong side of the note in m. 4 LH :P The rest looks great!

m5-8 RH beat 1 has an E. Might be cool to include that minor 9th in there.
I think what you're hearing there is the voice I wrote in m. 4 which continues throughout the section. I don't think it meshes particularly well with the part that comes in at m. 5 though (both in terms of intervals it creates like the minor second, and rhythmically), so I left it out.

maybe use 4/8 instead of 1/4? The piece is so slow that I feel the tempo in 8ths more than in (dotted) quarters.
2/8? Yup that definitely makes more sense.

m36-37 and 60-61 LH sounds like it should have Es instead of Ds, or at least E is a pretty prominent note in the accompaniment (C9/G chord).
Ah yeah it doesn't just resolve to Gm there. Updated the accompaniment part with what the original is doing an octave up, which actually matches the style of the rest of the accompaniment pretty well

For m30-35 and 38-43 LH, you have a lot of room in between the current LH part and the RH melody to include some more mid-range tones (with a similar accompaniment pattern to the previous sections). It sounds fine as is though if you'd rather keep it.
I think I'd like to keep it. Leaving it as just two lines gives it contrast to the last section where I've added more to both parts, and the left hand pattern is already naturally a bit more forceful than the previous sections as it's lower.

m60-61 RH: The 2nd layer strings move with the melody, it's not just one held note.
Ooh yeah, I was distracted by the sustained G. I've written in the harmonies that I think are there planing upwards with the voice I originally wrote in.

Files updated! Thanks for checking! :D

Wow. This is a really cool piece. It sounds like it could be something out of Your Lie in April...

m152 does "poco a poco a tempo" make sense, or would there be a better way to describe a gradual return to tempo after a molto ritardando (like if writing that in English would be better)?
I don't know much Italian past a few musical directions, but I don't think this really makes sense... right? "little by little" "in time"? The "little by little" should probably apply to an accel./rit. because an instruction to play at tempo is static. Here I'd suggest just using an accel. instead and indicating which measure you want to put the "a tempo" (if you even want an "a tempo" at all since it's really loose and slows down a few measures later anyway).

Great arrangement! It keeps the accompaniment simple while maintain the lively vibe of the original.

-The duet line between trumpet and sax that starts at m33 and goes until end of m48 has some simplifications where I left out the chord notes in eight note runs except in the very first notes of these runs.
I like this because parallel thirds drive me crazy :)

- Raise the tempo marking a bit
- I'd suggest moving the f at the beginning to the left of the notes or allocating more space between LH/RH staves, as it's a bit squished between the staccatos right now
- Getting this for m. 7 RH:

- Be consistent with your beam breaking - namely break beams over rests in m. 16/18
- Maky m. 13 look like m. 5 (eighth instead of quarter on beat 3.5)
- Use Fb instead of En in the LH of m. 21/23/49/51
- Speaking of those parts, I'd consider redistributing the notes between hands a little bit because those consecutive 4-note chords can be a bit tough to play quickly in the right hand. It's doable without moving your hand position (have your fingers on Ab Cb Db Fb Ab) but it's a bit hard to pound them out quickly and powerfully. This messes with the voicing a bit visually but I think it would be easier to throw the low Ab on beat 3 to the LH.
- Also for these parts, break the beam in the LH between beats 3-4 like in the RH.
- Totally fine to (and preferred, even) use a dotted half when it falls on beat 2 - m. 33/37 here

And what a great performance note at the end. I think I would suggest altering the wording ever so slightly, like:
Code: [Select]
Performance Note:
At the ends of measures 2, 4, 12, and beginnings of measures 17, 19, 24, 32, 41, 43, and 52 -
feel free to enthusiastically shout in Spanglish, loudly roll R's or laugh in a jovial fashion

edit: also fixed the submission title

I think I saw something happening here when I did this to the bottom layer, but I wasn't too sure what this was doing.
If you create second intervals between the two layers, one of the notes will get automatically moved, but it won't get moved back if you delete the notes in the other layer. I see it on a bunch of sheets where someone first writes out a bunch of stuff and then reduces it (or stuff gets shifted forwards or backwards in the measure while editing), so watch out for that whenever you remove notes.

Anyway, yeah, looking good! Some follow-up comments before I think I'm mostly done with it:
- The first couple of beats (including the chords and rests) in m. 10 and 11 are now misaligned between the different layers somehow, do the same thing for removing manual adjustments. Also m. 6 RH beat 4.25.
- Be consistent with your usage of 16th-staccato 8th-16th vs. 16th-16th-16th rest-16th rhythms in places like beat 4 RH of m. 6/8/10/12. I would recommend the latter so you don't end up with an awkward-looking 16th-8th-16th rest rhythm in m. 8.
- If we're pretty consistently separating rests between layers, do so in m. 6 as well.
- Some rests can go on normal height on the staff, like the lower layer ones in m. 5, 7, 8.
- By contrast, some do need to be moved away a bit. The last eighth rest in m. 9 is too close to the upper layer. You also should raise the upper rests in m. 10 a bit since that eighth rest looks like it precedes the 16th note chord on beat 3.25.
- Give the gap between LH/RH staff more space in m. 10.

Sorry for all the small nitpicks haha. All for cleaning it up :)

From what I've seen, Smash Ultimate (which I think is a suitable reference,) uses the names from the Symphonic Suites, and Dragon Quest III, which has two different suites of its own, uses the title "Rondo" for both. Besides, "Rondo" is the most common title I've come across, so that's good enough for me.
Makes sense. Sheet looks great!

Thanks. Making a final few edits:
- Fixing a typo in the composer name
- Adding a double barline at the section change (m. 9)
- Adjusting system spacing to allow more room for the rehearsal marking in m. 9 and f below m. 13
and accepting!

Thank you Zeila and Static for your feedback!

m7/11 quarter note sounds like an eighth + eighth rest
I kinda agree with the quarter notes in m7 and 11, but a tenuto 8th would work also. It definitely sounds longer than the staccato 8ths.
Changed them to tenuto 8ths

m16/18 you could put E's and Bb's here to imitate the snare hits since it sounds a little empty
Sounds good; I also added hits on m. 15/17 beat 1 to fill in space that would sound comparatively awkward without the extra hits

m19-26 it sounds like it crescendos throughout the buildup, and I think it would be nice to incorporate that into your sheet too (e.g. you could start m19 at mf and do a four-measure crescendo starting from m23 to f on m27, or you could keep m19 at mp and do a crescendo up to m23 as well)
Yup, makes sense. I changed m. 15 to p and 19 to mp, 23 to mf, with cresc. text in m. 19 and 23 (didn't want the hairpins stretched across the entire system)

m30 LH beat 4 maybe you could change this to G to reflect the timpani hit
Do you mean beat 4.5? I hear a G pickup to the C in the next measure so I wrote it on beat 4.5.

last measure RH beat 3 it sounds like the high strings go up to F# at the end, so you could consider centering the octave around F# instead of B
I've always heard these as the same chord, maybe just with different parts emphasized - I'd like to keep it as is.

In addition to the above:
  • m1 RH beat 1 should be G# on the bottom instead of B.
  • m1 RH beat 4 should have an A in the chord (though in the original it's an octave higher in the flute).
  • Is there a reason why m8/12/14 RH beats 3-4 aren't beamed? It's all part of the same voice there.
  • m14 RH beat 4 should be B instead of C.
  • m32 RH beat 1.5 should be staccato.
Got these

m1 RH beat 4 should have an A in the chord (though in the original it's an octave higher in the flute).
Did you mean m. 2 beat 1? Added it there

You might also want to break the beam across beats 1-2 of m9/13 RH to match the 2nd page.[/li][/list]
I specifically wanted to keep them like that here since they're part of a separate voice than on beat 1 and I wanted to avoid unbeamed notes being mistaken for a different voice (same as m. 15).

I like how m27/29/31 sound in the context of the arrangement, but I don't think they line up well with the original. The snare drum does play on those beats, but it's not very accented. The only low hit in those measures is the timpani on beat 1, while the low brass is playing with the upper brass/woodwinds. I feel like the RH chords lose some of their punch without the lower voices present.
Here I wanted to make sure that the constant eighth note rhythm from the percussion was maintained, so I filled in beats 2.5/4 even though they're not accented. I can add accents to the beat 1 hits though to differentiate them from the others. Not sure what you think we can do about that last sentence though?

Files updated, thanks again!

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] OMORI - "Lost Library" by PlayfulPiano
« on: June 07, 2021, 10:59:07 PM »
Awesome! Approved :)

- Where's the D# on m5 RH beat 3 coming from? Not sure I hear it... unless it's supposed to be the vocal line, which I hear articulating the D# on beat 4, not beat 3.
Yeah... moved it to beat 4

- Where's the D# on m5 RH beat 3 coming from? Not sure I hear it... unless it's supposed to be the vocal line, which I hear articulating the D# on beat 4, not beat 3.
- I hear another D# in m8 an octave below the one that's already there.
- Also hear a B in the chord on m11 LH beat 1.
Got these

- m24 RH Layer 2 beat 4 (E-D#) sounds like it should be an octave down, in the LH? (Actually sounds like it should start on beat 3.5 and be F#-E-D# an octave down.) If so, m24 could be made cleaner if Layer 2 beats 1-2 was just merged into Layer 1.
- m25 RH Layer 2 sounds like it should be an octave down too.
- Should the B# in m24 be a Cn instead? (chromatically descending C#-Cn-B)
Rewrote these couple measures to make use of two layers in the left hand to take these adjusted notes. I think 24 looks cleaner now too.

- m26 RH beat 5 rest should be moved down; otherwise it looks like it's a rest for both layers.
- m27 RH second chord, change the A# to an An? The chord sounds atrocious otherwise. Also maybe write D# for the lower note instead of C#?
Got these, except I think the C# should stay on that last chord. I definitely hear it in some voice (really hard to tell with this piece...) and I think it has too much of a diminished sound if we write in a D# instead.

Files updated (and leaving my approval)! Let's get this one done...

Welcome to NinSheetMusic! :D

This sheet looks pretty good. A couple of things to note as I skim before getting into the finer details of notes and spacing:
- The upper notes of m. 14 beats 3 and 4 could be easily played by the right hand
- The rhythm grouping of m. 19-20 is a bit off (and incomplete). Make sure to split up that quarter rest so a 16th rest falls on beat 3 (similar to how a 16th rest falls on beat 1).
- The third voice is missing in a few places, like m. 12 left hand, m. 18-21 right hand
- I would suggest writing the rhythmic figure in m. 7-8 and similar with a mordent which I think would be a bit easier to read than triplet 32nd notes:

Is this right? "Title Loop" is listed on the OST, and this video definitely seems like the OST version.

Submission Archive / Re: [PC] OMORI - "Lost Library" by PlayfulPiano
« on: June 06, 2021, 11:18:19 PM »
This sheet looks great! Thank you for taking the time to clean the visuals up. The notes are all good too, and the distribution between hands is sensible and clear.

I just have one thing to comment on, and that's the beam angles. This is a pretty subtle finishing touch. Finale doesn't always handle the beam angling for cross-staffed parts super well and will sometimes angle the beam in the opposite way it should be angled. Take a look at this:

The left is with some manual adjustment by me, and the right is Finale's default. Notice how Finale's placement here angles the beam upward by default, which is a bit misleading since it goes against the contour of the line (the last note is lower than the first both in pitch and on the page).

You can adjust the beam angle in Special Tools > Beam Angle Tool. Adjusting the left end of the beam will drag the whole beam up and down, while adjusting the right end of the beam will angle it up or down.

I suggest flattening the second beam in the measure to horizontal due to the C's in the bottom part being at the same level. Make sure that the left end of the beam sits at roughly the same level as the right end of the beam of the first group of notes. I suggest making the change in the second half of measure 1 and pasting that in m. 2-8 and 9-12 to ensure that the values are exactly the same for those same parts. (You might need to drag the F to the upper staff again after pasting.)

Aside from this, the beams for the second group in measures 8 and 16 are a bit low, so take the left endpoint and drag that up a bit to roughly where the previous beam ends.

Those are both really tiny changes. Let me know if you need help with any of that!

Main concern I have is the formatting position for the "Fine" at m4, i'm not 100% sure that is the right format for it. Otherwise, I think the "dim. on second pass" is fine, but lmk if it needs to be changed.
We discussed this over Discord last time and concluded that since this is a simple loop we don't need to notate the fade out. But the place where you have the invisible "Fine" is fine (pun intended :P).

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