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Messages - Maelstrom

#46
Not much
-A nice courtesy bracket in m25 to make it instantly obvious the LH should pick up layer 2 would be cool
-Why is there both a D.S. and forward repeat sign?
-Final LH note of m36 should be an octave lower
-Having the syncopated rhythm drop out in m34 feels anticlimactic at the song's most emotional resolution. I'd say make it like the measures right before it. I do like the decision to simplify the rhythms quite a bit to fit the difficulty of the piece, however.
-Should there be a comma after dark world in the title to make it grammatically correct.

That's it, nice job
#48
-m13 RH B4 - The F here is an F#. No tritones in my zelda's  theme remix (doesn't suspect anything)
-m14 RH - lower notes in b4/4.5 are F# and G
-m32 RH - 2nd layer chord is E-F# (which means respelling the bassline)
-m43 RH - Move the Fn on the bottom of the chord to the top to prepare the next measure. Also the A# is a Ab
-m44 RH - Top 2 notes are good, but move the B to a G#
-m22 LH - First note is a C, and all notes are an octave lower
-m37 LH - You can totally fit in the full arpeggios here instead of just having a single note
-m38 LH - I hear something a bit different. b2 is an Eb, b2.5 a G, and it's held until the note on b4.5 comes in
-m39 LH - b3.5 is a G and that's the note that's held
-m42 LH - I hear b2 as an E
-m43 LH - I hear B1.5 as an Ab. b4.5 also
-m44 LH - b1.5 is an Ab, b2 a C. I also don't hear the A on b4.5 at all.

edit: just realized kricketune just posted ........
will do a recheck after you address both of our feedback, overlapping as it may be
Also I think there's chords on LH b2.5 in m40-end
#49
Well, all those uploads or listings also include "Sargasso" somewhere. If we called this "Hostiles Revisited (Sargasso)" do you think that'd work?
#50
Alright, here we go
-this might be my hearing because harmonicas are hard, but I think the shape of the notes ins completely differeint in m26. I hear b2 as lower than b1.5 and b2.5 as ~the same as b1.5
-m54 RH - those notes all sound the same length, could just notate them as 4 16ths I think. Same in m134
-I don't hear a restrike in RH m100 and similar
-What I'm hearing for m104 b1-2

-I like to imagine that a D.S. with no segno present means the performer has to jump to a segno in a different song
-m162 - RHB I don't hear restrikes on the whistling

I do agree that for simplicity and the sake of the performer's printer, leaving out the slight differences in countermelodies and such are fine. While up to you, the only bit I think still worth adding is the section B1' on the first repeat, but that's just the LH and RH switching  parts.

That's all I've got.
#51
spent too long trying to make this good, but how's this look?

what I did - 2nd layer in m11 doesn't change now, because it was giving the impression that the bassline moves down there, when it doesn't.
Simplified the 2nd half and then added in the notes I heard. How's this sound?I tried to keep notes a ways apart to avoid giving the feeling of parallel clusters or the weird feel of those parallel 3rds/ I think the key was that it's not actually parallel notes in even intervals.

QuoteShould I keep the staccato on the last slurred note?
yup


Some more stuff:
-Take another listen to m13-16 LH. I'm not hearing perfectly repeated 16th notes and it sounds like there's on-beat bassline notes on b4 of each measure. Same for m29-32
-M16 b4 - would recommend staccato in both hands, and a C#-E 3rd in Rh. There's a fun C#dim chord here that would be cool to incorperate and this might be the easiest way. Could be in the LH instead, but it sounds weird without the E on top. Same in m32.
-ok m21-23 LH notes. B1-2 are tricky since it's all slightly off of 4/4, but 2 8ths instead of 16ths+restrike would be cleaner. I hear m22 with m21's rhythm. B1.5-2 is G#->A#->G# and b3-end is just G#s and A#s as 8ths. m23 is the same as m22 but with A#s and B#s instead.
-m37-41 - I'm not quite sure what you have going on here. I can't seem to hear the top notes in each chord in the original, and the repeated string you seem to have the rhythm from isn't replicated in the voices, since it's a C# in m37 and a E# in m39. Might I suggest having 2 layers here, one with the full rhythm of that string line that matches the rest of the song and lower bass hits for when the notes are emphasized by the rest of the instruments?
-I'm not quite sure what's going on with your ped markings... Right now they currently imply you should keep the pedal depressed from m45 to m64 and I don't think that's what you want. You can just write "con pedale" and hide the markings if you want. Just make sure to end with a "senza pedale"
-Final arpeggio section - try tying some of your bass notes to the next measure for clarity when possible since m51-52 looks weird (but you obviously can't do this in m53). As for notation, you can just write a roll mark in m51/59 and the rest seems fine.

I think that's most of what I've got.
#52
QuoteGhost!
boo!
QuoteI think this is a good change. Should an ottava be used though?
only in m1

QuoteSo the reason I did the notes like this was because the high strings are the melody, despite the bombastic brass. This is more clear in Sector Y from Star Fox 64, of which this track is a remake of (check 0:25 mark https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPMRDC_XkSo&t=4s). Correct me if I'm wrong, but the upward motion you feel is the lower brass, which is covered in the LH. Overall, I am still leaning towards keeping the notes I have as is and I'm not really a fan of putting an A in this chord.
Leaving this up to you in the end, but I think I'd like to add another point. First, I wasn't aware that this was actually a remix. However, the strings don't come in until b2 in m15. And in m17, they aren't restruck on b1.75 and are absent on b2. As such, I think there's a middle ground here between these two, potentially writing both differently, but I'll leave this up to you and what you think is best.

QuoteCould you please clarify this a little? I don't quite understand where voice movement is lacking
I'm not sure what I was thinking either
me from a week ago is a mystery to me now

fixed the on site name too
edit: you sure about the name? I can't seem to find an upload of it with that name on youtube, but I can with the old title. The goal with our titles is to both be accurate and make the names of the songs recognizable so people can find songs by the name they know
#53
Feedback / Re: Sheet Music Errors Thread
September 08, 2022, 09:39:31 AM
oh no not that one
It has far too many errors for this thread. We want to replace it, but someone needs to make a better version first. (I know some people have partial ones right now)
#55
Feedback / Re: Etihad airways office in Lahore
September 07, 2022, 06:19:04 AM
my favorite part is when he said "I'm about to etihad" and then etihaded all over them
#56
Only a few quick things:
-m10 LH - Hearing the b3 chord as a Gb-Db-Gb instead of the chord you have now.
-m12 RH - Hearing b1.75 as a Db instead of a Bb

That's it, nice sheet
#57
some thoughts
-The note beaming is inconsistent. Sometimes you don't group sets of 3 (m4) while other times you do (m8). Up to you whether sets of 3s includes beaming over rests like m1 and elsewhere.
-Feel free to lower rests when they're not in the way of the 2nd layer (e.g. m11)
-honestly was pleasantly surprised that the overlap in m6-m7 is actually really playable and nice. cool job with that
wonder if you'd like to work the melody into the LH in m8. Just a fun idea free of charge:

-I feel like there's a few too many notes in the 2nd half of m12. The original sounds like a sharp, strong phrase and the harmonies here are clouding the main notes. Maybe take off the top harmonies in RH to clear that up a bit?
-Personally not a big fan of starting a quarter note on beat 2.5, especially in a song as syncopated as this (m20 and m36)
-Rh slurs in m20/36 between beats 2.5 and 3.5 in RH?
-Backing strings feel meatier in m36 RH than you have, would recommend a C# between the two notes you've got on b1.
-m43b1 RH - Just this note is a Eb, same in m55. The rest are a Cn for some reason....
-m37-40 bassline is wrong. I'm hearing the root note go, measure by measure, from D to G to C# to F#. Since the octaves don't follow the bass here, it doesn't sound quite right. This would also allow you to add an F# to m41b3 RH to fill it out and then it ends up sounding really nice.
-Not sure what to do with m20 bassline ending. It sounds muddy no matter what I tried and won't sound quite like the original. Possibly make the last 3 notes E -> A+G -> E? It emphasizes the correct beat sorta.
-I don't think the unemphasized LH notes in m21-23 are right, and certainly not in the last measure where the rhythm and direction seems to mix it up.
-I think your LH simplifactions in m24 are fine, but something to emphasize the beats might be cool. Not 100% required given how loud the RH is.
-Too many parallel 3rds/4ths in m28 b4-4.5 make it sound odd and unlike the original. Might I suggest:

(the Gn is pulled from some instrument only hitting on that beat in the background)
-Would recommend making m32 LH b4 a staccato
-Would really like you to bring in the lowest bass into m49-64 LH somehow, either by pedal or black magic. Right now it lacks weight and impact without the lower notes grounding it. I don't think including some pedal would harm this section too much, personally.

Wew, ok that was a lot. Feel free to disagree with anything, and I'll give this another go through once these are fixed.
#58
Then so shall I
#60
Forum Games / Re: Topic Kicking
September 04, 2022, 08:13:45 PM
wait hold up you're alive